No Good Deed

Driving up to school in my little red car, I inserted the Wicked CD into the player. I was ready to rock another powerful duet with Idina Menzel. The song was No Good Deed and I got a small taste of enjoyment listening to it. Not for the same reasons some people might enjoy it.  It was chilling how well I could relate to the words.

...Ugh! What good is this chanting? I don't even know what I'm reading....
{All my desperate attempts to reclaim myself have not worked. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore except existing.}

...One more disaster I can add to my generous supply....
{Friendships, family relationships, my dependability, my grades, my hopes for a happy future all destroyed. All because of me.}

...My road of good intentions led where such roads always lead....
{Any good I have done in my life is meaningless now. More on this in a moment.}

...Nessa, Dr. Dillamond, Fiyero, FIYERO!....
{I have hurt most the people for whom I would do anything to protect. The damage I thought I could contain has spread to their lives as well.}

...One question haunts and hurts, too much, too much to mention. Was I really seeking good? Or just seeking attention? Is that all good deeds are when looked at with an ice-cold eye?....
{All the good I have done in my life is backfiring. It has all gone from being a blessing to others to a curse. The trusts I have gained. The moments I stood for what was right. In my fall, I am either taking them down with me or causing a lot of damage in the process. All that time I thought I was a good person, was it really all leading up to this tremendous downfall?} 

...Sure I meant well, well look at what "well-meant" did....
{All I ever wanted was to be a good person. Amazing how a couple of stupid decisions changed everything.}

...All right! Enough! So be it! So be it then! Let all Oz be agreed, I'm WICKED through and through. Since I could not succeed, Fiyero, saving you, I promise no good deed will I attempt to do again. EVER AGAIN!...

...No good deed will I do again!!!!

The only soul in the world I could identify with was named Elphaba. And she wasn't real. This was not good.


Next Chapter: Screaming



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