due six days apart both with little boys
For two brief seconds, I thought I invented the term, "bundle of joy."
I was rocking my newborn baby boy and could not believe how much happiness I felt with him wrapped up in my arms. He was so beautiful, so perfect, and just by being there, he literally brought Heaven into our home.
I struggled to know how to express my love for him. "You're just, a bundle of joy!"
That was a lovely way to tell him how you feel, all swaddled up in a blanket in your arms! I thought to myself. But it seemed oddly familiar. And then I realized, it was the same saying plastered on gift bags, and baby shower cards, used in television and movies over and over again. Probably one of the most overused phrases used to describe babies ever.
I felt a little silly, but it didn't matter. I meant what I said.
I snuggled him close. And breathed him in. And kissed his forehead. And whispered, "You are MY bundle of joy."
Something similar happened this week as we were driving with the family in the car. Danilo and I were trying to explain to little girl why no matter how much she grew up, she would always be our little girl. My parents used to tell me that all the time and I just thought they were silly.
But I get it now.
You, my darling sisters, are embarking with your husbands on one of the sweetest journeys life has to offer. In a few weeks you will be rocking your little boy wondering what you ever did so right to get to hold him in your arms.
You have not yet known the kind of joy that awaits you.
*****
I just want you to know that if your joy is ever eclipsed by moments of feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or overly emotional, you are okay. I hadn't anticipated anything but being completely overjoyed at the birth and bringing home of my baby so when I started to feel this way for periods of my day, I was concerned and worried.
If you're having funky thoughts or feelings, call Mom or call me or some other wonderful lady so we can help you realize you're okay, cheer you up and come over and lift your load when you need it.
Your baby is safe with you. Even if you feel inadequate. And especially if you call for help when you need it.
I think what unnerved me the most was that these thoughts and feelings
made me not feel like myself anymore, and with the dramatic life change I
had just undergone, I was worried that I wasn't going to feel like
myself ever again. I just want you to know that it's okay. Things will
level out. And you will feel like yourself again.
The truth is, having a baby has changed you. Into your baby's mom. And you will love who you become because of him. You will find you have the courage to be better than you were before you had him.
And he will love you. He will think the world of you.
You are his mom.
P.S. Oh, and hey. Thanks for making me an aunt! ♥♥♥
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