Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend....
I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life.
(The Fray, "How to Save a Life")
The weight of the world was on this kid's shoulders and it was crushing him.
We sat and discussed how a severely depressed mind functions, or how it doesn't function. He was as frustrated as I have ever seen another human being. Frankly, I don't think he really cared to discuss the particulars. None of it was an acceptable reason to have lost her.
He was right.
He would have done anything to save her had he known had he known how. She was not his only friend suffering from depression. How many more of his friendships were like ticking time bombs that would leave him devastated and helpless? It was terrifying to him and I could feel it. I could see it.
With a prayer in my heart, I offered the best piece shred of light I had in stock.
How do you save a life?
The hard truth is that your are not guaranteed a happy rescue.
We don't know why some people return from that dark abyss and some do
not. It is not like pulling someone who is drowning out of a swimming
pool. In that situation, everything depends almost entirely on the
rescuer's strength alone. Depression requires heroic strength from the
one who is drowning. Sometimes they are able to find it. Sometimes, for reasons we don't completely understand, they don't. And that is out of your control.
So live close to God. Live close to the One who sees all and knows all. Live your life in a way so that if God taps you on the shoulder to send you in for help, you will be ready. You won't have to worry about saying or doing "the one right thing" that could make all the difference. He's sending you in because He knows you will.